"Do you have a coach yourself?"

A client—a new manager—asked me that recently.

And I loved that question.

Because I practice what I preach.

Over the last 20 years, I’ve had a number of coaches. Right now, I work with two:

• one helps me build my business,
• The other helps me grow as a coach.

Each of them plays a different role. And both are crucial.

Since my first experience with a coach I'm a believer that coaching is the fastest path to results.

Not the easiest.

Not the cheapest.

But the fastest.

Especially 1-on-1 coaching—my personal favorite.

Because in a world full of noise and generic advice, there’s something powerful about a space that’s just

for you. 

No distractions. No fluff. Just someone sitting across from you asking questions.

The kind that make you uncomfortable.

The kind that sting.

The kind that echo in your head for days.

The kind that change your paradigm.

That’s the gold.

There's only one "tiny" precondition: you need to brutally honest with yourself. No BS.

How do I pick a coach?

I don’t jump into coaching relationships lightly. It always starts with one thing:

A gap I’m no longer willing to tolerate.

That’s when it begins. A frustration. A bottleneck. Something I’ve been managing, rationalizing, or avoiding.

Then, one day—it becomes unbearable.

And I decide: "I’m done tolerating this!"

That’s when I start looking:

• I ask around. I check out the people I follow. I listen to what they say—and how they say it. I trust my gut.
• I have to like them. That’s non-negotiable. Not in the “let’s be friends” way. But in the “I trust you to challenge me” way. It shure doesn't hurt if I like their voice and appearence. 
• The older I get, the more I care about shared values and similar life experience.
• I don’t care if they’ve worked in my niche. That’s just a bonus. What matters more? That they get it. That they care. That they’ll tell me the truth.
• I check out their content, their free workshop / masterclass. I need to believe they are a good fit. 

And here’s something many people overlook:

Just because you choose a coach doesn’t mean they’ll choose you. It’s not a given.

Because the best coaches are selective;  you have to show you’re serious. That you’ll do the work.

That you’re not just buying time—you’re buying transformation.

Great coaches don’t want to waste a whole magazine just to get things moving.

They’re looking for a client where one sharp shot triggers a chain reaction.

Someone who’s ready.

Someone who’s coachable.

Someone who says, “Let’s go!”

You coach others. What about you?

When you spend your days guiding others, you need your own space to wrestle with the tough stuff.

To slow down.

To hear yourself think.

To be seen.

We all have blind spots. Patterns. Stories that hold us back.

A great coach doesn’t fix you.

They help you see yourself more clearly—so you can fix what needs fixing.

They don’t tell you what to do.

They ask the question that unlocks everything.

And what’s it like being coached when you’re a coach?

It’s humbling.

It’s energizing.

It's challenging.

It’s necessary.

Yes, necessary. It's a win-win for both scenarios:

• for things you would be perfectly capable of figuring out, but a coach accelerates that path so it saves you months, sometimes years (!),
• for things you can only figure out with a help of a coach. 

Strictly a coach?

By definition, coaching is a structured conversation that helps a person think more clearly and take purposeful action toward their goals—primarily through asking powerful, thought-provoking questions that support self-discovery and problem-solving.

But let’s be real: sometimes the situation calls for advice. An outside perspective. A shortcut through the fog.

And yes—I’m all for that!

Here’s the thing: for coaching to be effective, you need at least some experience in the area you want to improve in. If you’re a total beginner or just about to start something new, your best first step is usually some form of training—to build a foundation, learn the basics, and get context.

Only then can coaching really do what it’s best at:
helping you navigate complexity, challenge assumptions, and turn knowledge into meaningful action.

Interesting thing I’ve noticed

After working with different coaches over the years, here are some commonalities: 

They all have coaches of their own.

They all read—a lot.

They invest in courses. Join masterminds. Surround themselves with people who push them forward.

They’re learners and they are doers.

And you know what? The same goes for my clients.

The ones who thrive, who change their game—it’s not just coaching they value.

It’s growth. Continuous, intentional growth.

Final thoughts

I entered managemenet in 2003 without any training or support.

Result:

• no clarity or focus,
• trial & error,
• long hours and work bleeding into home life,
• searching for answers in scattered information, 
• anxiety and eventual burnout.

After 4 years, I got myself coaches and mentors.

Result:

• clarity on what really matters,
• focused action towards results,
• 40 hour work week,
• targeted support and consistent growth,
• promotions, confidence, respect, and peace of mind. 

So wherever you are in your leadership journey; 

- aspired to enter into management,

- newly promoted, or

- navigating the challenges of your first managerial role,

consider doing it with a help. Get yourself a trainer, a coach, a mentor and accelerate to where you want to go. 

You can be a great manager as a first-time-manager!

ACTION STEPS: 

1. Identify the gap you're no longer willing to tolerate.
   Take 10 minutes to reflect: What's something you've been putting up with for too long in your leadership or personal growth?

2. Look around for people who challenge and inspire you.
   Follow thought leaders, listen to podcasts, or ask around—who's saying things that make you pause and think?

3. Make a list of potential coaches or mentors.
   You don’t need to commit today, but you do need to start exploring. Pay attention to people whose energy and experience resonate with you.

4. Ask yourself: Am I truly coachable right now?
   Be honest. Are you ready to be challenged, to show up fully, to do the work? If yes—reach out to them. If not, what’s holding you back?

Remember, be brutaly honest. No BS:)